Day 10

I haven't had the best day today. Yesterday was pretty boring and all, I watched a bunch of Ghost Whisperer on Netflix and today just sucked.
I did online Home Teaching while watching Ghost Whisperer (hehe sneaky) and then it kind of broke. It stopped working so we stopped. Then my dad came home and told me something. Let me give you some background about this situation:
You know I'm living in a hell hole basement; well we were going to move into my Meemaws house on the 17th of December and live there until the house sells. We also had the option of moving into my Uncle Joe's home so he could get some extra money and we would have a place to stay, well my dad declined the offer mainly because the commute to his work was too far. I was totally with him on that because I didn't want to have to adjust to another home again.
     Well here's the really bad news: the lawyer sent an email telling my dad that we aren't allowed to live in the house. And because my dad declined my uncle's offer, his mother-in-law is moving in instead of us. So basically we will be homeless at the end of January. When my dad told me this, I was in shock. I started thinking about what I could do to stop that. I considered getting a job but after I did the math, me getting a job wouldn't support a $900 rent. So I actually thought about becoming a hooker but that was too gross and degrading. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to go. Then I thought about moving in with my mom but decided I was too expensive for her to support anymore. Then I thought about killing myself; I seriously thought about this, considered ways to kill myself, when, etc. I texted a bunch of friends saying how I wished I was dieing, because I didn't have the balls to anything about it. I got into a texting fight with a friend of mine from an old church, I erased her from my phone. I talked to a bunch of other friends who asked me why, they said they wished they could help, asked what were my options, all that stuff. I got mad at them and cussed them out a little bit because I was emotional. Then about an hour after I first sent the message, my bestest friend since 6th grade texted me, really concerned. She said she would talk to her mom about me staying with them! I told her I was expensive and a huge responsibility. She insisted. What I just realized is that if I get a job and my dad gets an extra job on the weekends we could do this thing! Yay! We won't be homeless! We just have to find jobs.......yeah that'll be REAL easy. Ugh, OK well if anyone has any ideas about what I can do, please email or comment!

Day 9

Sunday, the day of rest. Well today I woke up at 7:30 (so not restful) and ate pancakes and turkey bacon for breakfast. I sat around catching up on the movie 'The Bear'; sort of an animal documentary about a cub whose momma dies, then befriends a wounded male Grizzly bear, and together they conquer 3 dastardly hunters who try and kill them. I looked at a bunch of houses on realtor.com in hope that some day soon my grandparents house will sell and we will move to a place like them. Then I rode my bike with my brother down to the park, we got thirsty but the water fountain wasn't working there. We played on the swings and seesaws then rode to the YMCA and drank some water there. I remember last year on my way home I would always stop by there to get        water or go to the bathroom. Then we biked back home, but now I have a sore ass from the stupid guy seat on my bike. What was really funny was that my brother (who's 4-5 inches taller than me) rode his old really small bike, like a clown bike (lolz!). I rode it for a little bit and the seat was more comfortable to be honest, and it wa also really fun to ride a clown sized bike! After that, I had lunch and looked at more houses while my brother was off at rehearsal again. Sometimes I think I would be good at small parts in acting because when I write a paper as a different person, I read it as though I was that person , accent and all. Anyways, we went to Cracker Barrel (all-time fave restaurant) and I ordered the same thing I always do; the Sunrise Sampler with hashbrowns and grits. I always get breakfast there, I've never had dinner there before. Well I'm super tired so I might not update my stories
http://www.quizazz.com/25601820

Day 8

Saturday! Yay! Well my brother went caroling to raise money again while me and my mom went grocery shopping. After we dropped him off back at the house and had lunch, we went to my moms friend Melissa's house; she had some old clothes for my mom and my brother. She has 2 dogs: a female, Maizy she's crazy attention hog, not too small; and Max, male, he's HUGE but he acts like a scaredy little lap dog! It's so cute! It's like he has no idea how big he is! He's afraid to even sniff me and I'm a very animal friendly person. Anyways, after that we went mattress shopping because since my Grandpa was staying over and so was I, we needed my brother to sleep him his own room but his old mattress was trashed a while ago because it was OLD. Well that was a totally fun experience, I got to sit on mattresses, then watch my Grandpa tie a mattress to the roof of a car! After the put the mattress in the house, we went and had dinner at Ruby Tuesdays! Except, because my Grandpa is old and makes cheap jokes, we called it Ruby 'Saturdays'(har dee har har). Going mattress shopping was a simple but fun thing to do; I think life is just simple things, all together. Sometimes I think people protect themselves too much from life, that's why I have a bucket-list, so I can make sure I can look back and say I did stuff during my life. I think I might post my bucket-list on here. What do you think? Comment please!!

Day 7

So today is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Well me and my mom went to Petsmart to get cat food and then to Target to get makeup; not exactly what I had in mind but it was fun. It was also really weird because I saw an old classmate of mine. He was in my Latin2 class last year, I think he was a senior. He was working the cash register at Target....the register me and my mom were at. I think he recognized me.......did I mention I had the tinniest crush on him last year? Haha yeah, so it was a little weird for me to see him outside of school. Even thought he's in college now. Oh well. Hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving Day! Don't forget tomorrows Small Business Saturday and Monday's  Cyber Monday!

Day 6- THANKSGIVING!!!

Today is Thanksgiving Day!!!!  How exciting! I know what I'm thankful for: spending time with my relatives and now spending time with my mom and brother-who, by the way, is apparently 5 inches taller than me! I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow with my mom because my brother has to do some practice singing for his concert, now like band but a choir thing. I was thinking that we would go Black Friday, but now I have no idea.

Check out my stories please.
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Day 5-Stress stress stress!

My sleeping habits are so screwed up, I hate it because it makes my muscles all tense and it hurts me.
     I look back on these few days and I wish I had started this blog/online diary a while ago just so I can remember all of my feelings, positive and negative and end making better decisions. Just to be able to look back on things is really nice. I tweeted today about how I'm not in the holiday mood, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving is only a few days away. I have nothing around me that screams holiday. The only thing that reminds me of the days to come is listening to Christmas music on the radio and what my dad says and the calender. But that's it, no decorations or food or feeling. Nothing screams thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas is fast approaching. Sometimes I want to be dead but I no i can't because I haven't experienced enough in life yet. I made a bucket-list a while back and I keep adding to it. That's what really keeps going; the main thing that keeps me going is that I want to fall in love. Cliche I no but its important enough to me from doing something stupid. Also, this blog and the stories I've started. They're small things but they keep me going long enough to realize all the other reasons to stay strong. Even the things like stories other people write, about how things get better and love and what not. I would be so upset if I died before I had a cocktail, preferably an appltini.
     So what are you thankful for this year? I know for me it's hard to think of things considering my year but if you really think about all the little things, we have a lot to be thankful for.

Day 4-Nothing but Nap

Yeah, so obviously I slept all day again....I kind of hate it because what if this turns into a habit: stay up really late, sleep all day, and then stay awake until the next night....I really don't want that. But anyways after I woke up, I stayed in bed for like an hour before my dad called me up to get my dinner. So after 10 minutes I came up because I can be lazy (lol). Anyways i came up, got the food and went back downstairs; then I turned on HGTV and watched House Hunters. Then at like 10:30 my dad kicked me out and I went to my room. That's basically it.

Bye,comment, check out my stories on:
 http://www.quizazz.com/25601820

Day 3

I woke up at 1:00 pm from my alarm clock and then again at 3:00pm by my dad. I wasn't in the best mood because my favorite station was playing Christmas music and that made me realize how bad my Christmas is going to suck: no decorations, barely any gifts, and then having to move less than a week after the day. I want him to move us out before Christmas and just pay for the rest of the months rents, but he doesn't want to waste his money like that. But I mean come in, you're still going to be paying for the rent even if we live here till the end of the month, and wouldn't you rather pay for the rent here while living in a nice house? SERIOUSLY, gosh. I actually cried a few times today because of this shit. Hopefully he will consider that and move us into the house before Christmas so we can decorate the house! I can't wait till me move in!

Day 2- A Birthday Dinner

So today I went to (Karen) my moms house to make her birthday dinner. It was somewhat difficult for me because Friday, I didn't wake up until 7:00 pm; so I had stay up all night Friday and all day Saturday to get my schedule back on track. I stayed awake all night and at about 10:00 Saturday morning, I got dressed for my moms dinner. At this point I had no idea it was for her birthday because I COMPLETELY forget about it! My moms friend Melissa came and picked me up at about noon. It was then that she informed me about what was going on. When I found out, I felt so bad because Thursday (the day before her birthday) I had to cancel lunch with here because my phone died before it could wake me up. So we got to my moms house and her and Melissa left to go shopping whilst me and my brother made a weird spaghetti dish with anchovies, olives, and garlic. For dessert we made a de-lish Tiramisu! My brother, Johnny, dipped the cookies in espresso and rum, while I mixed together the topping: egg yolks, sugar, espresso, and Mascarpone cheese.

I have to say, we did a great job! It was soooo good! I can't say I loved the spaghetti stuff with all the anchovies and olives, but it definitely had an interesting taste. After we ate and chatted it up, Melissa drove me back to the corner of hell I call home. It was odd, I was falling asleep on the car ride back "home" but as soon as we got into the neighborhood, I was wide awake. I'm writing this at 3:00 am, Sunday. I haven't slept since Friday. Well actually I napped on my moms bed for an hour but that's it. I can't help but wonder if the lack of sleep is directly related to my tense shoulder/neck and screwed up back....

Any ideas? Comment, whatever,

Day 1

Today is the first day of my blog; my online diary basically. 
Since I have no friends where I live, I figure at this point the Internet is my friend. So I'm going to start off by sharing why I'm making this blog with my friend (the Internet). The reason is because I'm going insane almost because of where I live. I live in a small basement thing where my dad and I live. It's kind of like having roommates except they live upstairs. We're renting it from this older lady; it's 2 very small bedrooms in the basement. Also in the basement is the laundry room and a small gross bathroom. I basically live down here; I hardly ever go upstairs because their kitchen is really greasy and the house has roaches, I'm afraid I'm going to see one if I go upstairs. So my dad does all of the cooking and washing of the dishes. Most of the time I come up and dry the dishes for him because I feel bad  that I don't do anything else. I don't go to a regular school anymore because since my mom kicked me out (I'll explain later) and I came to live with my dad, I can't handle going to this new school. I mean it looks nice but I just don't get good vibes from there. It's probably because they have guards patrolling the school and the students are just so different. I mean, they're the same but so different at the same time. So now I do Home and Hospital Teaching through the school. Mr. Foster is my "teacher"; we meet 2 times a week online, and once in person. So far it's great because I don't have to deal with the students and what not. I'm also seeing a therapist because I had a meltdown when I saw a roach in the silverware drawer. And let me tell you, you couldn't get a homeless person to take their silverware it's so cheap. So anyways, that night I kind of lost it and locked myself in the bathroom because I was afraid I was going to see a roach in my room. After that, I had real issues with going to school. Eventually i just stopped going and my dad took me to his psychiatrist, but we didn't exactly click. So he found a therapist and I've been seeing her for a month or so. She's really nice and shares a lot of her stories but she has 14 cats....ya I said 14...and so whenever you step into her waiting room, a smog of cat urine takes over your nose. It's not too bad for me because the cats love me and I love animals; but my dad can't stay in there while I'm in session. She's kind of a heavy lady but I don't mind that. I just don't want to get fat at all, which is what I'm worried might happen if we love here too long. We moved here at the end of August and we're probably going to move back to my dad's Grandparents house on  New Years Eve. Which totally sucks because we didn't get to celebrate Halloween and with a tight budget, Christmas won't be so great either. My birthday is going to suck balls because we won't have our own place probably until after my birthday. So let me start from the beginning of this crap.


So in February both my Meemaw and Popop died a few weeks apart, so my dad ended up living there all by himself. So then in June me and my mom got into a HUGE fight and she kicked me out, so I ended up living with my dad at my Grandparents house. I finished my freshman year at my old school with my dad driving to drop me off and pick me up. Then when summer came, my aunt and uncles made plans to fix up the house for sale. So while my dad was at work, I sat around eating and watching HGTV show (haha). Then we painted the house, had the outside cleaned, and had some landscaping done to the yard. At that point me and my dad aggressively started looking for a place to rent while the house was on the market. Like I said, we moved to this hell hole at the end of August. Which meant I had to go to a different school, the sucky kind. So that basically catches you up.


Be prepared for a new post almost everyday, BYE