My sleeping habits are so screwed up, I hate it because it makes my muscles all tense and it hurts me.
I look back on these few days and I wish I had started this blog/online diary a while ago just so I can remember all of my feelings, positive and negative and end making better decisions. Just to be able to look back on things is really nice. I tweeted today about how I'm not in the holiday mood, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving is only a few days away. I have nothing around me that screams holiday. The only thing that reminds me of the days to come is listening to Christmas music on the radio and what my dad says and the calender. But that's it, no decorations or food or feeling. Nothing screams thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas is fast approaching. Sometimes I want to be dead but I no i can't because I haven't experienced enough in life yet. I made a bucket-list a while back and I keep adding to it. That's what really keeps going; the main thing that keeps me going is that I want to fall in love. Cliche I no but its important enough to me from doing something stupid. Also, this blog and the stories I've started. They're small things but they keep me going long enough to realize all the other reasons to stay strong. Even the things like stories other people write, about how things get better and love and what not. I would be so upset if I died before I had a cocktail, preferably an appltini.
So what are you thankful for this year? I know for me it's hard to think of things considering my year but if you really think about all the little things, we have a lot to be thankful for.
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