Day 29

Yay! Drove to the hotel, it's uber nice here. It's kind of nice spending time with my family, even though we get on each others nerves. I can't wait till tomorrow when we go to Long Wood Gardens, we get in special because my family bought a season pass. I mean, like tomorrow visitors can only get in for a few hours because it's the holiday's and they don't want an overload of people. I have to share a bed with my mom, I'm afraid of kicking her in my sleep or falling off the bed because I'm used to sleeping against a wall. And I'm not used to sharing a bed. I have about 2 feet of floor between the bed and the wall. It's very quaint. I think I'll upload some pictures of here; well if we use my computer for the uploads. Let me explain: my brother dropped the home Dell laptop and now it's on the fritz. I hope they do.
Oh BTW, does anyone now how to make a text message signature on the Samsung Trender 2011? I like to use signatures and I still haven't figured out how.
Byeee

Day 28

Yay! I'm blogging again! Well I have to say one thing: I hate hang nails. I have some on my right hand. A total pain because I'm right handed and that makes it harder to type or text. It just feels weird having band aids on my fingers. My bro gave me a suckish Christmas present so I'm going to pick out a few things for about $40 in total. Now that I think about it, I feel kinda bad because on a normal Christmas he would get me something small, but he made a good amount of money doing the operetta, also he gave my mom $100 cash; so I guess it's ok to feel jipped. Well I should go to bed now because we're packing and getting up early tomorrow for our weekend trip. Byeee

Day 27

OMFG I haven't blogged in almost a week! I feel so bad! Well not much has happened. On Christmas I got lotions and body wash and body spray from my mom and dad from Bath and Body Works. I got a gift card from my brother and reed scent diffusers from my uncle. He always gives the best gifts; last year her got me special footie socks with foot lotion: amazing gift. I'm thinking of writing him a 'Thank-You' card just to let him know how awesome it was. Check out my poll. Oh also I'm going to be on vaca at a fancy garden in Philly but I'll still blog. The hotel has free wifi so I'm going to bring my laptop defnitly. We have also been watchign a lot of scary movies lately: Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2, Insidious, and we were going to watch The Sixth Sense tonight but it was too late.
Bye blog tomorrow.

Day 26

My mom can suck balls. She gets mad at me because I tell her what I've wanted to tell her all these years. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I should live with my dad because he doesn't yell at me but at the same time I feel like I should make amends with my mom. She wants me to forget the past but I'm not sure how easy that's going to be.
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We worked it out, I cried. I also started fantasizing about going to Philly and running into David Boreanaz, he and my mom fall in love and happily ever after. Well just meeting him would make my life. Heehee

Day 25

It's Thursday night and I'm uber bored. Didn't do much today besides go to school, sit in a waiting room while my mom got a prescription for her inhaler and watched Bones. I'm scared that when Bones gives birth to her child, they'll end the show because she will want to spend all her time with the child. I think people would watch the show just to see Seeley and Temperance together in action.

Day 24

Okay, I'd like to just say that none of what I was saying is true. I was just venting. You gotta figure life pans out pretty well if we were even put on Earth. So take life my the balls and just run with it. I made my own personal bucket list, I have some pretty fun stuff on it. Like skydiving, ride a mechanical bull, bungee jump, fly in a plane(because I haven't yet) and I also want to backing-packing. I want to go to Italy and France and England. So like I said, run with it.
So don't take any of what I said yesterday to heart because it's just sad angry thoughts. Besides, I deleted it.
Byeee be happy!  #bucketlist

Day 23-Again

People want other people to be positive but that's just not possible because from a young age, we are focused on the bad we do. Such as: when we get an answer to a question wrong, that is focused on as bad. We take tests and you immediately look for how many you get wrong. It's to see what we did wrong, but not focus on it so much that that's all we look at. When we hit someone, we are punished; for good reason but when we act good, that's ignored. People around us focus on our flaws, not celebrating the good things we do. So then how are we expected to look at our own positives when all we see are negatives?
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Adding again, well I had a pretty boring day. Online school, lunch, walked Winston. That's it.

Day 23

Ahhh, living here is nice; but it feels like before, strained and have to be on your toes. I think I should talk to my mom about that soon so I don't lose my mind. Also, I'm writing a book; I don't know if I should try and get it published now or when I'm older and look over it. It's a romance novel but I have no idea what the title should be. Oh well, bye I'm bored.

Day 22

The evening of Sunday. Yay! I guess I'm just more happy here, that's great though. Man screw this, I'm tired and  had an awesome day: I woke up, ate, sat around, ate lunch while watching Bones, then put up and decorated my fake Christmas tree.
Enjoy, better posts tomorrow and so forth.

Day 21

Yay! I slept in my own real bed last night! And what I mean by that is that I'm living with my mom again! I missed her so much, it makes me want to cry because it's just hitting me how much I really missed her and everything else. I don't think it's fully hit me that I'm living with them again but in time it will. I am blogging at 8am on a Saturday weird I know but I'm up. My massage yesterday was ah-mazing. I was in like a trance of calmness and quiet for about 2 hours afterwards. Me and my dad went to Chick-fil-A for lunch and it was really busy and loud so I kind of got stressed about that but I was fine mostly. It didn't help that 'Aunt Flow' was getting ready to visit me, so I was really testy yesterday; it didn't help that I had to do all the wrapping of my half-brothers Christmas presents. It's crazy because my dad just wanted to send a check to my step-mom for my half-brother's gifts. Ya know, like they go out with his money and get gifts; but I said "What? No way, you can't do that. You need to get his actual presents. It'll mean more than just money." It will really mean more to my half-brother because my dad went and visited him in San Diego and he was so excited to be seeing him; so it will mean a lot to get real gifts from him. We went shopping and got him a huge bubble blower, a toy sword, the Guinness Book of World Records, matchbox cars, the Spongebob version of 'Guess Who?', and I think one for thing but I just can't remember. Most of the gifts, I thought of getting; the only gift my dad really thought of was the book. He really thought he would love it. I'm afraid of what I'm getting for Christmas; but I'm just really happy to be living with my mom again. Just don't tell my dad that.

Day 20

Sorry I haven't been posting, I have a lot going on; obviously I'm talking about the fact that I'm moving back to my moms. I'm actually really excited about this. Well I've been doing laundry all day which is very boring but whatever. I have to wake up early tomorrow and get ready for my massage that will be at 11:30 at Massage Envy. Super excited about this because my back/shoulder/neck muscles are really screwed up. Oh well, this should be nice for me. I have a big bag of clothes along with a box of most of my shirts; then I have another box just filled with my clothing hangers and another box of shoes. Although I haven't put all of my shoes in it, a lot of my shoes are actually either under my bed or under my dresser. Oh yeah, today I had my last session with my therapist.
Well byeee I'll tell you how amazing my massage is.

Day 19

Wow, whenever I go to write a post for this blog, I forget how many days I've posted. Anyways, I'm writing stories and I'm having some serious writers block and I need ideas so check it out!
http://www.quizazz.com/story.php/1216272/Justin-my-roommate-and-best-friend/
Well today (Monday) was pretty boring, I didn't sleep until about noon and them I was asleep until my dad got home at about 7pm; but while I was awake, I was watching reruns of Psych one of my favorite shows ever. The only other shows I love that much are Monk and maybe Desperate Housewives. And Modern Family...and Whitney....and Chelsea Lately. I like a lot of more mature shows, well mature in the sense that it was meant for adults. Oh well, I miss Monk; ya wanna know why? Because they ended the show about 2 years ago I think, it was so awesome! They ended it really well too, that was the best show!
Whatever, after that I had my therapy session and I told her that I was leaning toward staying with my mom. After that, me and my dad went and had dinner at Panera Bread, THE BEST FOOD THERE! I love them, I had a turkey sandwich with spicy mayo and onions. I know, onions ewww! But I kind of love them now, it's a new found love of mine. Which will prevent me from finding real love because of onion breath. Haha

Day 18

I always do this, I stay up late and then post about the day that just happened a few hours before. Well let's just pretend that it's still Sunday. So today-Sunday- I woke up at about 2pm in the afternoon; I have no idea what happened, I was gonna wake up at 1pm so I would have time to shower and get ready for my massage. Mind you that I had to get in the shower that is gross and in the house with roaches; well I got over my fear and did. I showered as fast as I could and even had an outfit layed out that I was going to wear; but when I got out of the shower my dad told me that Massage Envy called and told him that my masseuse had called in sick. So now I have a massage scheduled for Friday at 11:30 in the morning. So excited! I would be even more excited if people would read and comment on my stories! It's been almost 4 days since I posted saying that I wouldn't be updating a popular story of mine unless I got 5 comments on each story. I only need 1 more comment on each, so that's nice. Gah! Friday I'm moving back in with my mom, that means 5 days of laundry and clothing bagging.
Bye! Check out my stories!
 http://www.quizazz.com/25601820/created

Day 17

Today is now Sunday but I'm going to write about Saturday. So Saturday, I got up really early- at 7:00 am- and I found a website that told me what time the Total Lunar Eclipse would happen. It turns out that the Lunar Eclipse was going to take place at 8 am. So I sat around and got dressed to go outside, thinking that I would see the Eclipse for myself. Well I woke my dad up 10 minutes before the Eclipse, but apparently it was too sunny to see it here. And also I would have had to been on the West Coast to see it; great. So I went back to the website and it turns out they would streaming the whole thing live onto the website. So I got settled back into my computer chair and sat and watched most of it. I have this thing on my computer where I can 'snip'pictures of my screen. So that's what I did; I 'snipped' a lot of pictures of the Lunar Eclipse. I have them as my background but it wasn't that exciting. I wish I could've seen it for myself. Well after that, I took a nap and then me and my dad drove to see my brothers chorus concert thing. We were sitting up in the balcony with my mom,where it was really warm; I was sweating the whole time and my dad was fanning himself with my concert program. During intermission me and my mom were talking and she got sweater fuzz on my jacket; it was so funny! My dad seemed awkward around my mom because they're divorced and they hate eachother. Oh well. bye!
Happy Holidays!

Day 16

Today I post at 8:21 pm, shocking because usually it's either really late or in the wee hours of the morning. I missed my moms calls and I didn't get to see her today because I stayed up so late that I slept all day.
I just came back from dinner at Chick-Fil-A and I had old Disney movie songs stuck running through my head; the songs include:
-Hakuna Matata, The Lion King
-Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat, The Aristocats
-Thomas O'Malley, The Aristocats
-Scales and Arpeggios, The Aristocats

I love these songs, they're so cute and catchy! I especially love "Hakuna Matata" and "Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat". I can't wait till I'm older and I can buy all the old Disney movies so I can watch them on the weekends. Well tomorrow I'm going to see my lil brothers chorus concert, I'm excited even though a few years ago I almost fell asleep at his concert.

Byeee check out my stories!

Day 15

Yay! Friday! I love Fridays, except this Friday I have to was ALL my clothes because I'm moving to my moms so I don't want to bring roaches into the house incase roaches laid eggs or whatever. So yesterday........Oh yeah! I woke up, laid in bed, then basically jumped into my clothes and went to my session. We worked on nothing but I was assigned work and started it; so now today I have alot of work to do because he wants to check on my work. So today will be filled with laundry, homework, blogging, and story writing. Well that is if people read my stories and comment on them:
http://www.quizazz.com/25601820/created
Go read BOTH stories and comment on them because I know that people atleast like ONE of them, and I am currently blackmailing my readers into reading my other story! I'm such a nerdy monster....kinda haha. To be honest, I don't really care how many people read this, I just like having it and seeing a slow increase in the views.

Day 14

Today is officially Thursday even thought I'm talking about Wednesday. Okay, well I was supposed to get my braces off (or at least that's what I thought) but it turns out I have 3 more months of treatment. When they told me that, I started crying right there; now usually I'm a great patient, I don't make any complaints about what they're doing in my mouth but that just broke me. I am so tired of wearing these shit contraptions. I first started wearing metal in my mouth in 4th grade: I had a small metal wire in the roof of my mouth, then I had a palette expander (that hurt like a mofo), then they took that out and put in a 'herps appliance' to fix my over bite; then soon after I had my front teeth in braces, later they took of my herps appliance to find out I needed 4 teeth removed. I didn't complain, I only wanted to know if there was any other options; apparently no, so I had my teeth removed and took that like a trooper. Finally, they put in all my braces. The worst of it was that they put my braces on my BIRTHDAY, I moaned about that but didn't through a tantrum. So I think I'm allowed some solace of getting my braces off. It's funny because my mom got braces and one time I was in getting worked on at the same time and she was moaning and making a lot of noise; it was kind of embarrassing because I take it silently. I hope to god I get these damn things off soon. I realized that I have aggressive thoughts but the logic and common sense part of my brain makes me not act on them; after they adjusted my braces part of me wanted to blow up the orthodontics office or kick someones face in. I didn't though because then the wouldn't be able to take off my braces. I always wanted to kill myself but didn't want  to die wearing braces; also funerals are very expensive and no one can afford another funeral after both my fathers parents died. Sometimes logic comes out the strongest.

Day 13

Agh, I forgot to say this, but Monday I got the second shot of 3 shots for the HPV vaccine. I think the only reason my dad made me get it is because he has no idea what I do and what it is really is; but I've realized that the shot makes my shoulder muscles tighten up (like botox) so my left shoulder won't crack and feel better as easily. It really sucks but another thing happened, not Monday today; my dads loan didn't go through (meaning he didn't get the loan) so that means I'm moving back in with my mom and my dad's going to move into my uncles basement. I'm actually really excited to be moving back, but I think my dad wishes I wasn't so open and enthusiastic. He wants me to miss him, I will but I've been missing my mom a lot more. His new commute is going to be 1 hr to maybe 3 hours because my uncles house isn't in a great place road location-wise. So that's really going to suck for him; but what I'M most worried about is my friends and school. I mean, what classes am I going to take going back to TJ High School? Gah! And my friends??? What about them? I mean I really screwed up my friendship with one of my girlfriends and then I got into a huge bitch fight with another but we worked it: it was mainly my fault because I was upset and overwhelmed by all what was going on so I created issues. But whatever, I just hope I have friends to go back to soon. And I'm moving on the 17th of this month, so I have a lot today; which includes the following: wash ALL my clothes and bed things, bag up ALL my clothes and bed things, and box up all my personal crap. Then on the 16th (a Friday) my mom's going to pick me and as much stuff as she can and take us back home. Yeah I said BACK HOME because that will always be 'home' to me. It's where I spent a good 7 years of my life, maybe even more because I might stay there. I don't want my dad to get depressed though, but my mom would say something like: you shouldn't worry about your dad, he can take care of himself. But in reality, I don't think he does a good job of it. I mean he's like 240 lbs at 6ft tall, that's kind of fat; don't get me wrong I love him, but being fat to me is gross. I understand that like maybe 5% of fat people have a genetic thing but most other people are just fat. Women sometimes just have wide hips or large bones, but men.....ugh. Men have no excuse, they're supposed to be larger bone-wise. I just....I would kill myself if I ever got fat; which is why I'm watching my weight right now. No I'm not dieting, I'm just thinking about my weight and trying not to eat too many chips.
Oh well night.

Day 12

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. Well heres the big news: I'm gonna go back to live with my mom because my dad couldn't get a loan for rent money. So he's gonna go stay at my uncles house in the basement. To be honest I'm excited because I miss her sometimes, but my dads worried that me and her will fight a lot. Oh well, I'll just have to show him. Well, today I woke up with like 20 texts from Twitter, 4 missed calls, and 3 voicemails. Ugh, mostly my teacher because he forgot we were supposed to meet at 2:30 instead of 2:00. Oh well, I'm doing better with my therapy I think.
Bye

Day 11

It doesn't feel like it's been 11 days since I started my blog, it feels like so much longer. My dad sent my relatives an email asking if any of them would be willing to take me in until the house sells but so far, nothing. He said he would stay somewhere else, I can't remember what he said about that but I just remember he said he would stay some where else. I found 2 places that could work for me and my dad to move into, cheaper, but we would still have to get extra jobs just to survive. My dad also brought up that option that he could apply for a loan so we could rent a place again until the house sells. It sucks because everything is riding on that house selling but because the market is so bad, it doesn't look too great for us.

Throw your thoughts in the hat, any ideas, thanks

Day 10

I haven't had the best day today. Yesterday was pretty boring and all, I watched a bunch of Ghost Whisperer on Netflix and today just sucked.
I did online Home Teaching while watching Ghost Whisperer (hehe sneaky) and then it kind of broke. It stopped working so we stopped. Then my dad came home and told me something. Let me give you some background about this situation:
You know I'm living in a hell hole basement; well we were going to move into my Meemaws house on the 17th of December and live there until the house sells. We also had the option of moving into my Uncle Joe's home so he could get some extra money and we would have a place to stay, well my dad declined the offer mainly because the commute to his work was too far. I was totally with him on that because I didn't want to have to adjust to another home again.
     Well here's the really bad news: the lawyer sent an email telling my dad that we aren't allowed to live in the house. And because my dad declined my uncle's offer, his mother-in-law is moving in instead of us. So basically we will be homeless at the end of January. When my dad told me this, I was in shock. I started thinking about what I could do to stop that. I considered getting a job but after I did the math, me getting a job wouldn't support a $900 rent. So I actually thought about becoming a hooker but that was too gross and degrading. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to go. Then I thought about moving in with my mom but decided I was too expensive for her to support anymore. Then I thought about killing myself; I seriously thought about this, considered ways to kill myself, when, etc. I texted a bunch of friends saying how I wished I was dieing, because I didn't have the balls to anything about it. I got into a texting fight with a friend of mine from an old church, I erased her from my phone. I talked to a bunch of other friends who asked me why, they said they wished they could help, asked what were my options, all that stuff. I got mad at them and cussed them out a little bit because I was emotional. Then about an hour after I first sent the message, my bestest friend since 6th grade texted me, really concerned. She said she would talk to her mom about me staying with them! I told her I was expensive and a huge responsibility. She insisted. What I just realized is that if I get a job and my dad gets an extra job on the weekends we could do this thing! Yay! We won't be homeless! We just have to find jobs.......yeah that'll be REAL easy. Ugh, OK well if anyone has any ideas about what I can do, please email or comment!

Day 9

Sunday, the day of rest. Well today I woke up at 7:30 (so not restful) and ate pancakes and turkey bacon for breakfast. I sat around catching up on the movie 'The Bear'; sort of an animal documentary about a cub whose momma dies, then befriends a wounded male Grizzly bear, and together they conquer 3 dastardly hunters who try and kill them. I looked at a bunch of houses on realtor.com in hope that some day soon my grandparents house will sell and we will move to a place like them. Then I rode my bike with my brother down to the park, we got thirsty but the water fountain wasn't working there. We played on the swings and seesaws then rode to the YMCA and drank some water there. I remember last year on my way home I would always stop by there to get        water or go to the bathroom. Then we biked back home, but now I have a sore ass from the stupid guy seat on my bike. What was really funny was that my brother (who's 4-5 inches taller than me) rode his old really small bike, like a clown bike (lolz!). I rode it for a little bit and the seat was more comfortable to be honest, and it wa also really fun to ride a clown sized bike! After that, I had lunch and looked at more houses while my brother was off at rehearsal again. Sometimes I think I would be good at small parts in acting because when I write a paper as a different person, I read it as though I was that person , accent and all. Anyways, we went to Cracker Barrel (all-time fave restaurant) and I ordered the same thing I always do; the Sunrise Sampler with hashbrowns and grits. I always get breakfast there, I've never had dinner there before. Well I'm super tired so I might not update my stories
http://www.quizazz.com/25601820

Day 8

Saturday! Yay! Well my brother went caroling to raise money again while me and my mom went grocery shopping. After we dropped him off back at the house and had lunch, we went to my moms friend Melissa's house; she had some old clothes for my mom and my brother. She has 2 dogs: a female, Maizy she's crazy attention hog, not too small; and Max, male, he's HUGE but he acts like a scaredy little lap dog! It's so cute! It's like he has no idea how big he is! He's afraid to even sniff me and I'm a very animal friendly person. Anyways, after that we went mattress shopping because since my Grandpa was staying over and so was I, we needed my brother to sleep him his own room but his old mattress was trashed a while ago because it was OLD. Well that was a totally fun experience, I got to sit on mattresses, then watch my Grandpa tie a mattress to the roof of a car! After the put the mattress in the house, we went and had dinner at Ruby Tuesdays! Except, because my Grandpa is old and makes cheap jokes, we called it Ruby 'Saturdays'(har dee har har). Going mattress shopping was a simple but fun thing to do; I think life is just simple things, all together. Sometimes I think people protect themselves too much from life, that's why I have a bucket-list, so I can make sure I can look back and say I did stuff during my life. I think I might post my bucket-list on here. What do you think? Comment please!!

Day 7

So today is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Well me and my mom went to Petsmart to get cat food and then to Target to get makeup; not exactly what I had in mind but it was fun. It was also really weird because I saw an old classmate of mine. He was in my Latin2 class last year, I think he was a senior. He was working the cash register at Target....the register me and my mom were at. I think he recognized me.......did I mention I had the tinniest crush on him last year? Haha yeah, so it was a little weird for me to see him outside of school. Even thought he's in college now. Oh well. Hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving Day! Don't forget tomorrows Small Business Saturday and Monday's  Cyber Monday!

Day 6- THANKSGIVING!!!

Today is Thanksgiving Day!!!!  How exciting! I know what I'm thankful for: spending time with my relatives and now spending time with my mom and brother-who, by the way, is apparently 5 inches taller than me! I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow with my mom because my brother has to do some practice singing for his concert, now like band but a choir thing. I was thinking that we would go Black Friday, but now I have no idea.

Check out my stories please.
http://www.quizazz.com/25601820

Day 5-Stress stress stress!

My sleeping habits are so screwed up, I hate it because it makes my muscles all tense and it hurts me.
     I look back on these few days and I wish I had started this blog/online diary a while ago just so I can remember all of my feelings, positive and negative and end making better decisions. Just to be able to look back on things is really nice. I tweeted today about how I'm not in the holiday mood, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving is only a few days away. I have nothing around me that screams holiday. The only thing that reminds me of the days to come is listening to Christmas music on the radio and what my dad says and the calender. But that's it, no decorations or food or feeling. Nothing screams thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas is fast approaching. Sometimes I want to be dead but I no i can't because I haven't experienced enough in life yet. I made a bucket-list a while back and I keep adding to it. That's what really keeps going; the main thing that keeps me going is that I want to fall in love. Cliche I no but its important enough to me from doing something stupid. Also, this blog and the stories I've started. They're small things but they keep me going long enough to realize all the other reasons to stay strong. Even the things like stories other people write, about how things get better and love and what not. I would be so upset if I died before I had a cocktail, preferably an appltini.
     So what are you thankful for this year? I know for me it's hard to think of things considering my year but if you really think about all the little things, we have a lot to be thankful for.

Day 4-Nothing but Nap

Yeah, so obviously I slept all day again....I kind of hate it because what if this turns into a habit: stay up really late, sleep all day, and then stay awake until the next night....I really don't want that. But anyways after I woke up, I stayed in bed for like an hour before my dad called me up to get my dinner. So after 10 minutes I came up because I can be lazy (lol). Anyways i came up, got the food and went back downstairs; then I turned on HGTV and watched House Hunters. Then at like 10:30 my dad kicked me out and I went to my room. That's basically it.

Bye,comment, check out my stories on:
 http://www.quizazz.com/25601820

Day 3

I woke up at 1:00 pm from my alarm clock and then again at 3:00pm by my dad. I wasn't in the best mood because my favorite station was playing Christmas music and that made me realize how bad my Christmas is going to suck: no decorations, barely any gifts, and then having to move less than a week after the day. I want him to move us out before Christmas and just pay for the rest of the months rents, but he doesn't want to waste his money like that. But I mean come in, you're still going to be paying for the rent even if we live here till the end of the month, and wouldn't you rather pay for the rent here while living in a nice house? SERIOUSLY, gosh. I actually cried a few times today because of this shit. Hopefully he will consider that and move us into the house before Christmas so we can decorate the house! I can't wait till me move in!

Day 2- A Birthday Dinner

So today I went to (Karen) my moms house to make her birthday dinner. It was somewhat difficult for me because Friday, I didn't wake up until 7:00 pm; so I had stay up all night Friday and all day Saturday to get my schedule back on track. I stayed awake all night and at about 10:00 Saturday morning, I got dressed for my moms dinner. At this point I had no idea it was for her birthday because I COMPLETELY forget about it! My moms friend Melissa came and picked me up at about noon. It was then that she informed me about what was going on. When I found out, I felt so bad because Thursday (the day before her birthday) I had to cancel lunch with here because my phone died before it could wake me up. So we got to my moms house and her and Melissa left to go shopping whilst me and my brother made a weird spaghetti dish with anchovies, olives, and garlic. For dessert we made a de-lish Tiramisu! My brother, Johnny, dipped the cookies in espresso and rum, while I mixed together the topping: egg yolks, sugar, espresso, and Mascarpone cheese.

I have to say, we did a great job! It was soooo good! I can't say I loved the spaghetti stuff with all the anchovies and olives, but it definitely had an interesting taste. After we ate and chatted it up, Melissa drove me back to the corner of hell I call home. It was odd, I was falling asleep on the car ride back "home" but as soon as we got into the neighborhood, I was wide awake. I'm writing this at 3:00 am, Sunday. I haven't slept since Friday. Well actually I napped on my moms bed for an hour but that's it. I can't help but wonder if the lack of sleep is directly related to my tense shoulder/neck and screwed up back....

Any ideas? Comment, whatever,

Day 1

Today is the first day of my blog; my online diary basically. 
Since I have no friends where I live, I figure at this point the Internet is my friend. So I'm going to start off by sharing why I'm making this blog with my friend (the Internet). The reason is because I'm going insane almost because of where I live. I live in a small basement thing where my dad and I live. It's kind of like having roommates except they live upstairs. We're renting it from this older lady; it's 2 very small bedrooms in the basement. Also in the basement is the laundry room and a small gross bathroom. I basically live down here; I hardly ever go upstairs because their kitchen is really greasy and the house has roaches, I'm afraid I'm going to see one if I go upstairs. So my dad does all of the cooking and washing of the dishes. Most of the time I come up and dry the dishes for him because I feel bad  that I don't do anything else. I don't go to a regular school anymore because since my mom kicked me out (I'll explain later) and I came to live with my dad, I can't handle going to this new school. I mean it looks nice but I just don't get good vibes from there. It's probably because they have guards patrolling the school and the students are just so different. I mean, they're the same but so different at the same time. So now I do Home and Hospital Teaching through the school. Mr. Foster is my "teacher"; we meet 2 times a week online, and once in person. So far it's great because I don't have to deal with the students and what not. I'm also seeing a therapist because I had a meltdown when I saw a roach in the silverware drawer. And let me tell you, you couldn't get a homeless person to take their silverware it's so cheap. So anyways, that night I kind of lost it and locked myself in the bathroom because I was afraid I was going to see a roach in my room. After that, I had real issues with going to school. Eventually i just stopped going and my dad took me to his psychiatrist, but we didn't exactly click. So he found a therapist and I've been seeing her for a month or so. She's really nice and shares a lot of her stories but she has 14 cats....ya I said 14...and so whenever you step into her waiting room, a smog of cat urine takes over your nose. It's not too bad for me because the cats love me and I love animals; but my dad can't stay in there while I'm in session. She's kind of a heavy lady but I don't mind that. I just don't want to get fat at all, which is what I'm worried might happen if we love here too long. We moved here at the end of August and we're probably going to move back to my dad's Grandparents house on  New Years Eve. Which totally sucks because we didn't get to celebrate Halloween and with a tight budget, Christmas won't be so great either. My birthday is going to suck balls because we won't have our own place probably until after my birthday. So let me start from the beginning of this crap.


So in February both my Meemaw and Popop died a few weeks apart, so my dad ended up living there all by himself. So then in June me and my mom got into a HUGE fight and she kicked me out, so I ended up living with my dad at my Grandparents house. I finished my freshman year at my old school with my dad driving to drop me off and pick me up. Then when summer came, my aunt and uncles made plans to fix up the house for sale. So while my dad was at work, I sat around eating and watching HGTV show (haha). Then we painted the house, had the outside cleaned, and had some landscaping done to the yard. At that point me and my dad aggressively started looking for a place to rent while the house was on the market. Like I said, we moved to this hell hole at the end of August. Which meant I had to go to a different school, the sucky kind. So that basically catches you up.


Be prepared for a new post almost everyday, BYE